Blurred

She stopped by; just to have a look at what was I up to. The day was over and I was ‘celebrating’ resignation of one of my fellow colleagues.   She stopped by to Say Hi in the crowded chaos of people and Talks. We exchanged pleasantries and it was over, just Like that. Next day, she saw me again, came over and pulled a chair. I was there with my scribbling diary and she took the Liberty of flipping it over and read few pages. It started with talking about Writing, then Loneliness, then People, then hope, then cricket, then food, then music and we paused. For the day. We Talked about the music of ages, how lyrics invade our stubbornness, and how music makes man morph.

Days after Days, we talked about every possible Thing in this mortal Universe. She tried teaching me some language and ended up brushing up her Bhojpuri. This led us to her boyfriend and how it ended. Soon we were talking way too much. Shared melancholic playlist, sapiosexual writings & Shit, and very soon we were watching out for each other’s text. So much that made me think about any line I was about to cross and anything I should be beware of.

And one day, sitting across each other, when she was high and I was Sober, she opened up about her deepest feelings. Things that made her emotionally blurred. How she wanted to talk to someone when she was lonely. How everyone is a whore and ends up selling different part of their body. How one cannot handle contempt towards herself. How we are the slave of imagination and hallucinations, yet crave for people who are not pretending or playing. How mental illness should be a welcoming conversation. I was feeling so lit talking about things which have been my own secrets.  And just when it was going all meaningful and esoteric, we paused, stopped and left.

We never talked to each other after that. She was worried that she pushed too much about me being available. I believe that I tend to lose people who understand me as me. And slowly, with every passing day, she is getting blurred. Maybe after few months or Year, I won’t remember her anymore.

She once Said, “It’s better to have something around you, which reminds you.”

Well, She reminded me of myself. Or At least how I might end up, when I am 36.